can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Your dad touched me again.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
