So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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