i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
