Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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