5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
