shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
