I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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