it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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