did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
