im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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