they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you inspire me to be a worse person
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
