put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
