Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize