the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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