Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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