xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
