he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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