Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
