Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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