How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize