she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
