in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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