she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize