SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
dude. I can hear the air.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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