hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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