dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
