Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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