Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
