I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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