i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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