he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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