I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
