To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just blew my weed a kiss
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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