What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
