Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
