you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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