i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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