I wanna bring you to show and tell
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
