Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
