How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
