all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
These tits shall not be calmed
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
