can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
