There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
