he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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