i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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