Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
