I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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