Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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