the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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