Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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