Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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