he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Everything about him screamed your future.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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