That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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