Well apparently he's into motor boating.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
