i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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