used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
where are my eyebrows?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
