Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
