You're completely useless in the revolution.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
