I bet he comes in French.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
