DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
