nut hugger
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
