guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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