my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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