i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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