I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
