I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
